Shannon Thornton, M.A., LPC, ADHD-CCSP  
Certified Clincal Services Provider by the Institute of ADHD Professionals

 Specializing in Executive Function Difficulties, Parenting, and Family Dynamics 


I Don't Belong Here

Posted on March 12, 2019 at 5:55 PM

This is my first blog post.  Ever.  Seems odd because I usually have so much to say about, well...most things.  I have a lot to say about living in a household with three people who have ADHD and the first thing you must know is that I don't feel like I belong here.  If you are neurotypical, or don't have ADHD, and live in a household with others who do, read on.  You're not alone, even though it feels like it sometimes when you're at home.

I realized much later in life that the reason God gave me a husband and two kids with ADHD was so I could encourage others not to make the same mistakes I have and to know they had someone to talk to on a professional level who truly understood them.  It is one thing to be a therapist.  It's another to treat people who deal with the same "stuff" you do.  Some see this as a negative issue and call it "countertransference".  I call it survival and comradery.  I know your people's stuff doesn't look just like my people's stuff, and I may not have all the answers, but know this: it is tough being you sometimes.  

I get it.  My brain, if seen on a continuum with theirs, is the opposite end.  My strengths are their weaknesses and sometimes I honestly don't know how they make it every day.  I also realized that their strengths are my weaknesses, so we balance (fairly well) most of the time.  I am naturally organized and methodical.  I am motivated by my environment being neat, tidy, orderly.  I cannot stand clutter and I run and hide where there is chaos.  I thrive in routine, and derive a little too much joy from crossing things off my lists- which remain on paper.  I am in the 21st Century on most things, but no app can quite compare to the dopamine hit I get from completing tasks and crossing them off a list with a perfectly sharpened #2 pencil.  I may or may not have been known to add things to my list after I've done them just so I can cross them off.  No, I'm not neurotic.  I am super cool and together (at least for appearances sake) and if I actually lose or forget something, look for zombies because we are likely in an apocolypse.

I have been pondering the thought of a podcast or blog or ebook...something to help my fellow man without having to make an appointment with me.  Low and behold, as the universe often does, a client confirmed that need today by asking me to start a blog.  Thanks, M.R., this is all your fault, lol.  I will write about ADHD and share tips and tricks and brain-nerdy facts to help you understand what is actually going on in the melon of the people you live with.  I will also likely write about how to deal with anxiety and vent (did someone say rant?) some about why I think our kids are so riddled with it.  Be forewarned, I have a soapbox or two hidden in my office which I may stand upon while writing.  I'll do my best to put a disclaimer in lights at the beginning of an entry in the event you want to by-pass said soapbox.

I'll leave you with this closing thought: We're All In This Together.  (insert obnoxious tune from HighSchool Musical here) :lol:  Until next time-


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